Lately I have been thinking often about my parents. My father died several years ago. My mother is still alive and I am sure that because I am really worried about my mother my thoughts are so often focused on my parents.
My mother is in a home for people who need extra care. My mother needs a lot of extra care. Her body is getting weaker and weaker. Her eating very badly makes it all just worse.
People around me, friends and colleagues, know how often in the last two years I all of a sudden had to travel back to Haaksbergen because the situation of my mother turned worse. Until now it all turned back to the good side. But I am very afraid that one of the days soon I will get that fatal call…
It is not my mothers mind. She is still very clear of mind. I even dare to say that she is very young of mind. She is still capable of going along with modern ways of living.
As said, it is not her mind that is giving problems. It is her body. Almost as long as I can remember my mother was suffering from health problems. But her courage to go on was always remarkable… It still is.
Of course I have many memories about my parents. Some good, some bad, some just as they are.
One of things I remember very well is that my parents never hitted me. Although I can remember one situation that I brought my father in despair very close to it. But in the end he never did.
Nicer memories are that I can remember how my father was running with me on his shoulders around the house, wondering where “Little Robje” was.
I can remember very well how my father loved it to take his family out for dinner. He didn’t have much money as factory worker, but out for dinner was something he really liked. I remember “Hotel Centraal” (building doesn’t exist anymore), “Restuarant De Bron” (this building also doesn’t exist anymore). “Restuarant De Vijfhoek” (building is still there, but that is all) and “Hotel Mossinkhof” (same here… only the building is left).
There are some other things I respect my father very much for…. his handwriting, which was close to perfect.
His work for the Dutch Red Cross (which cover the flooding of the Dutch province “Zeeland” in 1953 and the train-kidnapping at “De Punt” in 1977).
Also his work for the local areas was remarkable.
As said before, I respect my mother especially for her strong mind and her ever lasting optimism. The house were we all grew up must have been very empty after my father died and we (my brother, my sister and me) were not living home anymore. I think it was great how she managed to handle that all.
I think that she secretly loved it that when after my last relation went down the drain, I asked if I could come home for some time. Finally one person more in that big house.
And even with my job in Hoofddorp she loved it that I came home in the weekends.
And that is all gone now… My mother was taking into the home she is staying now…. I moved to Heemskerk… The elderly house is gone. So many things have seem to come to an end….
And yes, I have seen things in the past concerning my mother and my father that I didn’t understand. There were also things that happened in the past to which I have no complete answers. And maybe it for the best this way… Some things don’t need to be answered. There is no need to bring the pain of the past to the present.
But whatever…. these two persons set the markers for who I am today. And I am grateful for that
Ontroerend, zoals je over je ouders schrijft, Rob.
Leef met je mee.
One of the things I always truly admired for was the way you cared for your mother and still cares. This very human side of you was also something that made me feel comfortable around you.
Your mother knows that you are there for her. And even now you are living in Heemskerk it just will take one phone call that set you on your way to Haaksbergen.
And I know I don’t need to say it, but I am always there when you need to talk!