Over the years I developed a small habit. Rob sleeps at times on his back. So when he is asleep I crawl up to him and lay my head on his chest (sorry guys with your perfect “six packs”, this is a comfort you never will be able to give in this way!). As automatically he put his arm around me, which gives me a very secure feeling. And with my head on his chest I listen to his heartbeat.
For some reason I find the rhythmic sound of his heart very relaxing. It helps me to fall asleep.
So a few years ago I was listening to the soft beating of his heart when it suddenly stopped… to continue as normal after one or two missing heartbeats. It scared me for some moments, but Rob’s normal beating heart made me rest assured.
But a few weeks after that it happened again and I became worried. It felt to me as a heart defect.
Without telling Rob I consulted my family doctor. When I told her about my worries she laughed softly and told me how awesome caring I was. But this was nothing to worry about. According her everyone has this… She, me, Rob and everyone else.
She told me to see this as that the heart takes a moment of rest, some kind of break of all the hard work. And if the hearts pick up its normal work, then everything is very fine.
Yesterday I was listening to Rob’s heartbeat again. And it stopped. I noticed that I was thinking “Okay, you had your break. Now back to work!”. And at the same moment the heartbeat returned. I had to grin and I believe that I fell asleep with a smile on my face!
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