Marion’s ponderings

The missing heartbeat!

by Marion on

Heartbeat

Over the years I developed a small habit. Rob sleeps at times on his back. So when he is asleep I crawl up to him and lay my head on his chest (sorry guys with your perfect “six packs”, this is a comfort you never will be able to give in this way!). As automatically he put his arm around me, which gives me a very secure feeling. And with my head on his chest I listen to his heartbeat.
For some reason I find the rhythmic sound of his heart very relaxing. It helps me to fall asleep.

So a few years ago I was listening to the soft beating of his heart when it suddenly stopped… to continue as normal after one or two missing heartbeats. It scared me for some moments, but Rob’s normal beating heart made me rest assured.

But a few weeks after that it happened again and I became worried. It felt to me as a heart defect.
Without telling Rob I consulted my family doctor. When I told her about my worries she laughed softly and told me how awesome caring I was. But this was nothing to worry about. According her everyone has this… She, me, Rob and everyone else.
She told me to see this as that the heart takes a moment of rest, some kind of break of all the hard work. And if the hearts pick up its normal work, then everything is very fine.

Yesterday I was listening to Rob’s heartbeat again. And it stopped. I noticed that I was thinking “Okay, you had your break. Now back to work!”. And at the same moment the heartbeat returned. I had to grin and I believe that I fell asleep with a smile on my face!

Heartbeat

 

 

(The used picture is released to the Public Domain, please see Public Domain Pictures)


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Blame it on the moon

by Marion on

Our guests have left again. It was a wonderful weekend.

Rob and I were just talking a bit and somehow the conversation ended up at the time Rob and I discovered our mutual feelings. And I have to be honest, at first I was not ready for those feelings. I was doing fine on my own. Had my life on the road again. Could handle the world with ease again. And falling in love was the last thing I wanted.

Well, I already knew Rob for some time and we even became friends. And then that Christmas Eve things, as Katie Melua sings so beautiful, things were gone too far to call it an halt (and keep your mind out of the gutter… or not *grin*).

Now I am so happy this al happened and I am glad to be able to call Rob my partner in crime and love.

But in the beginning things were confusing and those feelings are so well expressed in this song. Reason why I love this song.

(Below the video you will find the lyrics if you are interested).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTeVnHQujrg

“Gonna blame it on the moon,
Didn’t want to fall in love again so soon.
I was fine, feeling strong,
Didn’t want to fall in love with anyone.

Now that it’s gone too far to call for a halt,
I’ll blame it on the moon
‘Cause it’s not my fault;
I didn’t think that this would happen so soon
So I’ll blame it on the moon.

I was happy to be free
Didn’t think I’d give myself so easily.

Guilty feelings in the night
As I wonder is it wrong to feel so right.

Now that it’s gone too far to call for a halt,
I’ll blame it on the moon
‘Cause it’s not my fault;
I didn’t think that this would happen so soon
So I’ll blame it on the moon.

Gonna blame it on the moon,
Didn’t want to fall in love again so soon.

I was fine, feeling strong,
Didn’t want to fall in love with anyone.

Now that it’s gone too far to call for a halt,
I’ll blame it on the moon
‘Cause it’s not my fault;
I didn’t think that this would happen so soon
So I’ll blame it on the moon”

Marion
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De Markt 2, Haaksbergen

by Marion on

Today Rob and I had lunch at Grand Café Central in the town of Haaksbergen. Their omelets and fried eggs are very good. We have there many times before.

We had a very nice chat, but I noticed that both our eyes drifted to the building were once was café “De Markt 2”, which had to close earlier this year over a renting and maintenance conflict.
“De Markt 2” was very dear to us, because it was on the terrace belonging to this café that Rob en I met.
I will never forget the man sitting in the sun reading a newspaper and enjoying a cup of coffee. He reacted very friendly when I asked him if he would mind if I had a cup of coffee at his table as all other tables were taken. We had a nice talk… and that was the beginning of everything, because that man was Rob.

How many times did we not have great evenings there. Alone with the two of us, or with the others like Sanne, Marissa and the rest of the group. I remember Sanne dancing on the table there *EVIL* .
And even years after Rob moved to Heemskerk, they still knew what beer and in what glass he wanted his beer… “Een fluitje Grolsch Premium Pilsner” *SMILE* .

So yes, we feel a bit bad about what happened to “De Markt 2” and specially when were so close to it. I heard stories that maybe someone else might re-open it again. Maybe stupid, but that would not be the same. We do miss it a lot…

The photo above I had still on my iPhone. That is “De Markt 2” as I want to remember it…


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Because Rob and I talked lately a lot about Ellen ten Damme, who is one of the artists he likes best, I downloaded through iTunes her latest album “Durf jij?” for my iPod. I already knew that Ellen ten Damme is indeed a very talented artist, but I really have to admit that I am impressed by this album.

But listening to it, I was pleasantly surprised by the lyrics of one song. The title song “Durf jij?” to be precise. It reminds me very much of the period that Rob and I had after that very special Christmas Eve. It was a period of uncertainty. Not really knowing what to do…

And I am so happy that Rob responded without any hesitation to my “Durf jij?”…. and see where it brought us!!!!

(Of course I didn’t ask Rob literally “Durf jij?”, but somehow was it where it came down to)

Durf jij

Als ik de dorst drink van het wachten
En de tijd slikt die je morst
Als ik de lange lege nachten leer begraven in mijn borst
Als ik de honger leer verbergen
Van jouw veel te verre mond
Als ik de dagen stil zag zweten
Die door zwijgen zijn verstoord

Durf jij, durf jij
me dan te zeggen dat je komt?
Durf jij, durf jij

Als ik door distels naar je toekruip
op een brandend pad van grind
Als ik door oerwoud naar je toesluip
Angstig rillend als een kind
Als ik rivieren overzwem
naar het land waar jij verblijft
Als ik de wilde zeeën tem
op een vlot dat amper drijft

Durf jij, durf jij
me dan te zeggen dat je blijft?
Durf jij, durf jij

Weer een lied is het oude liedje
Wat zal zijn is wat eerder bestond
Voel jouw brand in je hart dan geniet je
Maar de klok tikt
en alles is rond
Ja

En als je eindelijk zult proeven
wat je niet wist dat bestond
Als jij niets hoeft, dan te vertoeven
op de stilte van mijn mond
Als dorst en honger zijn gestild
niets dan voortaan nog bestaat
Als jij niet meer voor mij verschilt
Stilt de meer dat in de straat

Durf jij, durf jij
me dan te zeggen dat je gaat?
Durf jij, durf jij
me dan te zeggen dat je blijft?

Durf jij, durf jij
me dan te zeggen dat je komt?
Durf jij, durf jij
En de klok tikt
en alles is rond


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In the Netherlands we have a number of newspapers that are spread around free of charge. One of these newspapers is the “Spits”, which is every morning available on many stations. I wasn’t aware that Marion could read this newspaper as well…

So…

Some days ago someone complained that many people have so little historical knowledge of WOII. With all kind of weird constructions he tried to make clear the caused by extreme left winged political influences (while it is well known that right winged parties are behind WOII…. extreme ones, but still right ones). This most likely because the critics a certain Dutch right winged politician gets.

Something must have triggered Marion to respond these person remarks as I know it is nothing she would do normally.
But I agree with her…. when there are so many innocent casualties, things as left or right winged are not important anymore. Only people count then….


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We’re part of a story, part of a tale
We’re all on this journey
No one is to stay
Where is it going
What is the way?
We’re part of a story, part of a tale
Sometimes beautiful and sometimes insane
No one remembers how it began.

On my way back to the hotel I heard this song on the radio and I know Rob likes this group (Within Temptation) very much. And is the chorus of this song not very true for Rob and me?
“We’re part of a story, part of a tale Sometimes beautiful and sometimes insane””

Edit: To the person who again tries everything that Rob or I say to put in a bad light…. I meant here nothing more that the relation that Rob and I have something that feels like a fairytale… a puzzle where all the pieces fall one by one in their place.
So please keep your assumptions and weird ideas for yourself!

Marion.

 

(Credit picture: Use your fantasy )


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Hello from Sweden

by Marion on

Sanne and I thought it would be nice to send some “thoughts” from Sweden.

We are having a wonderful time here. And one day we will go here too. I know that you are this week on a course for your job. And I also know that your mind may not be in a very cheerful mood, but know when needed I will back in The Netherlands very fast.

Here some of the beautiful sights we already saw in the few days we are here. I am sure there will be many more great things to see here for us. And I am pretty sure you would love it here.



I hope you don’t mind I loaded the pictures directly to your weblog, because that is the only way I can put pictures there I know of.

(Did you liked the pictures we sent you by mail??? We are thinking of you!)


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My body! My decision!

by Marion on

This morning I did read in a newspaper about a so called “Safe Life” organization. The kind of that thinks that abortion is murder, no matter what. Often this kind of organizations have a religious background.

Let me state first that I think that it is good that there is clear regulation about this subject.

But above all, it is my body. If I get pregnant, I can assure you that it will be removed. In my life there is no room for a child of my own. Oh yes, I hear already the remarks I heard so often about be greedy and selfish for not having children. But again, it is my body and it is my life.

Sure, everything is done to prevent that I become pregnant. But that is not the issue. It could happen with some very bad luck.

A fetus of 10 weeks is less “alive” or “fully living” as a rat or mouse, and those we exterminate without a wink of the eye.
At that stage it is nothing more as a pre-stage of a living human. Things just start to develop, but are far away from a feeling and thinking human.

If those “Safe Life” folks want to preserve life in all means for their own, it is okay with me. But I don’t want them to push their believings and opinions upon me.

Sorry about this little rant, but I always get irritated when people try to push their views upon me about matters that are really my own.


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Career man

by Marion on

While waiting enjoying a cup of coffee at a gas station, I did read in a newspaper that Dutch women think that career men are the funniest and the nicest. I find that strange and I can come up with some reasons which are not a compliment for the women who think so.
First one: money! People that are true career people tend to earn a nice amount of money. For some people money means security, but is that a base for a relation? I think not. But it seems others think different.
Or maybe they like the their “hard working” men are so often from home? Because a real career man makes many hours and is a lot away from home, so they can do “their own things”, whatever that may mean and be!
And I could go on like this!

Lets discus these career man.
I see them almost daily and most of them are not my kind of people. Many show a certain arrogance about how good they are. Many conversations among them goes about showing others that they are the best.
Their jokes are often way below the line. And their “loving” wifes and partners should know how they talk about women among themselves. Not even to mention how they often flirt with the women they meet during their work. It gets at times close to disgusting!
Also consider that making a career means often changing often of job, because when a career maker gets a change to get up, he or she will take it. Specially in these times changing jobs may be a risk. And it always brings a lot of unrest and stress.
Which brings us to the next point: Most career people have problems with relaxing. They have a hard time of pushing work aside for some time. Their career is always somewhere in the back of their mind. No matter what they do.

Now, I don’t say all career men are like that, but there is a tendency.

Am I a career woman? Yes and no. Surely I did make a career, but I needed many and many years to get here where I am now. It was more a growing process then working hard on a career. So with that in mind, I don’t add myself really to the career people.

I could talk for hours about this subject because I see it from so closely almost daily. But I think I made my point of view clear.
And so I rather go for the relaxed, fun-loving and caring software engineer :)

Marion.


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It stroke me with complete unbelief when I read today that 18% of the Dutch women would be willing to give up the right to vote for looking younger. So looks are more important that the basic right to select the kind of government our country will lead?

Sure this research was “just” done among 750 Dutch women with an age between 45 and 60, so they result of it is not very meaningful in my opinion. But still it is shocking that about 1 of 5 women is willing to give up basic rights for some good looks.

19% of this women have considered a face lift. Again in personal opinion a face lift gives often a very unnatural result. And if I understood  it right, there are many things that can go wrong with a face lift.
This kind of correctional surgery I can only understand in case of  deformation (after an accident or disease or alike).

Sure, I love to look good. Nice clothes, a little make-up… But it saddens  me to see that women are willing give up basic rights or go through dangerous surgery just to look good.

Marion.


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