So at the end of the year it almost custom to look back at past year and pondering a bit about it all. Overall I can say that has been a good year, which doesn’t mean that no sad or bad things did happen.
Most sad thing that happened this year is of course that my mother passed away April this year. It is something that is still often in my thoughts.
What was a strange emotional experience was the funeral of my mother on Friday 8 April and that I signed the next Monday the papers to buy the apartment that I was renting already for about a year. This Monday was 11 April. This date was chosen a bit with a reason. It was the my birthday of my father who already passed away many years ago. I thought that my mother would like that idea as a little respect towards my father. I have spoken with my mother about it and she indeed liked this a lot, not knowing that she would not live through that day herself.
It was here that Sanne came with a comforting thought. She said that I was the only one of my mothers children that was not settled down completely. My brother and sister were married, found a place to live and even have their own children. Sure, I had Marion at my side. Found a good job. The only thing missing was a place that I could call really my own. With the appointment for signing the mortgage-papers and the property transfer of the apartment to me I was settled down as well. And that was, according Sanne’s thoughts, that everything for my mother was good now. All her children had found a place in their lives. My mothers work was done…
Neither Sanne or me know if this all is true, but it is sure a comforting thought and one that I still carry with me…
So yes, this year I became the owner of an apartment in the town of Heemskerk. I have to admit that before moving here I thought that Heemskerk was somewhere in the province of Groningen.
It is not very big apartment, but more then enough for 1 (some times 2) persons. After staying more then a year in a room in Amsterdam, it is good to have a place of my own again (but not a bad word about the room in Amsterdam, the kind landlady always made sure everything was okay. And it solved for me during that time a big problem).
I really like the apartment. It has a wonderful wide view over this part of the town of Heemskerk. On a clear day I can see on the horizon the cranes of the Amsterdam harbour. In the evening it is a wonderful display of lights.
There is a nice balcony where you can sit in the summer enjoying the nice weather. I find important to be able to go outside and with this balcony it is possible to sit outside… have there lunch or dinner… read a bit… or just enjoy the view and the weather.
There has things to be done to the apartment. And most important is a new kitchen, but as what I want is very expensive. So I have to safe money for that.
Most important of course is my relation with Marion. It seems impossible to me, but it is getting better and better. With the passing away of my mother, she showed very clearly that she is also there for me in bad times. It was a great comfort to have her at my side during that time.
And I know that in the eyes of some people the relation we have is weird, but more and more it proves that this is for both of us the best. Committed to each other and yet room to be independent and freedom to move around (to avoid confusion here, we don’t have an so called “open relation”… in this relation we are committed to each other).
For me (and I know this goes for Marion as well) it’s like a puzzle where more and more pieces find a fitting place. And it is wonderful and great pleasure to work together to on this (maybe never to complete) puzzle.
The days out with Marion we also very enjoyable. Burgers Zoo (where we went together with Sanne) was great. And so where our visits to Maduro Dam and Madame Thussauds (among others). Our trips here in the neighbourhood to Uitgeest, Zandvoort, Castricum, Haarlem, Amsterdam and such were also very nice.
Of course I have to mention Cirque Stilleto this year Januari in Haarlem (with Ellen ten Damme). It was my way to say thank you to Marion for those nice years together. And in August we saw Ellen ten Damme again in “Het Concertgebouw” in Amsterdam.
Work is also going well. Still enjoy a lot to work in the team where I am part of. Maybe for next year we should have a little more team events again. Would be nice to have as group some fun again outside of the company as well.
This year I also bought some nice things as a new computer (a real speed monster) and a very nice Pioneer media-set (BluRay player and speakers included). And I continued to decorate my apartment and that is of course a job that will never finish.
As I already said, overall it has been a good year. And I feel positive about the coming year…
Attachment is based on memories and expectations,
past and future.
Attention is based on letting go and gratitude,
being completely present and one.
Love you!!!
Dat 2012 een geweldig jaar voor jou en onze dochter mag worden….
(en dat we samen veel lekkere whisky’s mogen proeven!)
Lets make 2012 a great year of friendship, love and joy! Looking forwards to many beach walks and other fun things.
Ook van ons al het beste en dan nog meer van ons tweetjes.
En vooral lekker blijven koken… en ik krijg je ook nog wel zo ver dat je meer aan de opmaak van de gerechten gaat doen 🙂